These past couple weeks have been interesting, I have had my highest and lowest moments, that's kind of how life is though, just maybe a little bit more spread out. I had a panic attack the week before Thanksgiving break, I was pretty stressed from school and chemistry which is not my best class. Sometimes as people we tend to focus on the negative side of things. I realize now instead of hating ourselves for what we're not or what we can't do, we need to love ourselves for what we are and what we can do well. I bet we each as humans have or can do something better than the average Joe. It's okay that we're not perfect, we are human beings, no one can be perfect because that is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe I am a perfectionist because well being a Chinese adoptee I was abandoned because girls are looked at as weak, and maybe I feel I need to prove something of myself. Or maybe it's simply because in elementary school I had a learning disability and well kids can be mean, and I'm scared of looking stupid or inadequate again. How I became to hating my imperfections is irrelevant. What matters is being able to see the good in you and what you do amazingly. My mom and dad both helped me realize I don't need to fret, the future is what we make it, and not excelling at everything can be healthy because it teaches you how to work hard and to deal with disappointment, we just can't dwell too much on it.
This is the beginning of the painting I'm working on.