Going back to old hobbies

Dear readers,
These past couple weeks have been interesting, I have had my highest and lowest moments, that's kind of how life is though, just maybe a little bit more spread out. I had a panic attack the week before Thanksgiving break, I was pretty stressed from school and chemistry which is not my best class. Sometimes as people we tend to focus on the negative side of things. I realize now instead of hating ourselves for what we're not or what we can't do, we need to love ourselves for what we are and what we can do well. I bet we each as humans have or can do something better than the average Joe. It's okay that we're not perfect, we are human beings, no one can be perfect because that is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe I am a perfectionist because well being a Chinese adoptee I was abandoned because girls are looked at as weak, and maybe I feel I need to prove something of myself. Or maybe it's simply because in elementary school I had a learning disability and well kids can be mean, and I'm scared of looking stupid or inadequate again. How I became to hating my imperfections is irrelevant. What matters is being able to see the good in you and what you do amazingly. My mom and dad both helped me realize I don't need to fret, the future is what we make it, and not excelling at everything can be healthy because it teaches you how to work hard and to deal with disappointment, we just can't dwell too much on it.

This is the beginning of the painting I'm working on.

Recently what helped me realize these essential aspects to know in life was my old habits I used to do, I meditated which helped a lot and this week off. I just enjoyed myself, spoiled myself because I knew I earned it. I also did to do yoga again which I stopped since the summer. Falling back into my routine when I didn't have school was a great way to relax and break from school and look at things more rationally. It also sparked more creative ideas which I have had a block from. I also tried to paint again which I haven't done in years, and because I put all of people's expectations aside I could paint something I actually liked.

Thanks
-Jazz